Friday, February 5, 2010

Never want to forget

Having this baby growing in me makes it that much easier to approach the 3rd anniversary of that first baby we lost together. It makes me able to reclaim Valentines Day.

When I'm overwhelmed with life and start to feel cranky and pissy, all I have to do is place a hand on my belly. Feeling her kick, stretch and twitch in my belly makes me smile everytime. I want to bottle this feeling and never forget it.

Baby Girl is so active now that I switched from noting her 'active times' to hardly knowing when she isn't active. Thankfully (for the time being at least) her painful jabs to my cervix have been replaced by her head rolling around on it. That's a wierd feeling! Feet stretch out and retreat when I touch them. It's a odd thing to feel actual body parts making those movements in there. Sometimes I can feel her hard back on one side of my belly. When I lay on my side at bedtime, she really has a chance to stretch out her feet and really go to town.

I daydream about whether she'll be light blond like my babies or darker haired like hubby's babies. Will she be tall or short? Shy or outgoing? What colour of eyes will hers develop into?

10 short weeks is all I may have left with her all to myself. Then I have to share her with the world. Then I get to see her brothers and sisters delight in her. I get to see her proud Daddy's eyes gleam at this new life we've created. I get to gaze down at her sweet face as she nurses.

1 comment:

  1. It's so amazing. It really is. It really makes you appreciate pregnancy much much more when you've suffered losses. Not saying people don't appreciate it, but those who have lost seem to appreciate it just that much more and notice the small things that make you happy.